Aging Mom Doesn’t Want to Discuss Dilapidated House. Investors Ask Natalie.

Harry Potter fans in the courtyard of Alnwick Castle (Hogwarts). Photo by Michael Hogan. Wiki Commons. Used with permission.

Aging Mom Doesn’t Want to Discuss Dilapidated House. Investors Ask Natalie.
 
Dear Natalie,
 
My aging mother lives in a house that is literally falling apart. Things are so drafty, and electricity bill bills are so high, that she just lives in a very small portion of it. It’s in an area of the country that gets very cold in the winter and extremely hot in the summer. So, there’s really no break from the high electric bills. Our family feels like she could use a little extra support from us, although she insists that she’s fine. We’ve never talked about money as a family, but it really feels like this is long overdue. How should we approach this delicate topic?
 
Signed,
Keeping Quiet Isn’t Working Anymore
 
Dear Smart Daughter,
 
Keeping quiet is one of the reasons why many families lose their wealth within three generations, whereas many rich families are able to keep their estates intact for centuries. So, bringing the family together is something that is essential for your mother’s current well-being, but it can also benefit all the family now and in the decades to come.
 
One of the exercises that I do in my Real Estate masterclass is to have everyone add up the housing costs of at least three family members who live in their own separate (often tiny) abodes. Four family members paying $2,000/month each on housing = $96,000/year. That’s a lot of money – it’s a million dollars in just 10.4 years. When we start looking as money as a family asset, we come up with all kinds of ways to keep the money in the family. When we don’t, we are making the landlord and bank rich at our own expense. Wealthy families spend far less on housing than most of us do. Oftentimes their kids spend nothing at all.
 
Princes don’t purchase their own castles. Rather, they must learn to be stewards of the family estate in order not to lose it. One of the most interesting examples of this is that Alnwick Castle is popularly known as Hogwarts. Not only does the Percy Family make money as the location of the Harry Potter films and television shows, the demesne has also become a very popular holiday destination. The Alnwich Garden is worth visiting as well. Starting from that premise with your siblings – that you are copying the moves that wealthy families make – might help to open the new conversation with your mother. Have a plan in place first, however.
 

The Cascade at the Alnwick Garden. Photo by: Christine Westerback. Wiki Commons. Used with permission.

Is there a contractor, builder or handman in the family? Would someone be interested in overseeing a remodel of your mother’s home? Can this be done while your mother is living there without exposing her to toxic dust? Would a prefab home be a better idea? Should the person overseeing the project be earning some sweat equity (perhaps in the home equity itself) to keep costs down? Should the new home be bigger so that a family can live there with your mother, providing her with more company (loneliness is often a problem with aging parents) and healthier meals?
 
As one potential example, the family project manager could lease to own the house from your mother (once the home is livable). Initially the lease could be covered by her labor on the remodel. After the labor payback, your mother has steady income, which can help her remain financially independent, while giving her extra cash for some fun things she might wish to do. If the project manager hasn’t paid off the entire home at the time of your mother’s death, then the P.M. just buys out whatever equity is left after all her labor and rent is applied. If the home has been paid off, then at least part of the cash that went to your mom in rent might now be available for all the siblings to split in the inheritance. That’s a better scenario than having your mother’s health slowly decline as a result of living in an uninhabitable home, or for the family inheriting a dilapidated home that must be torn down (which is very expensive), and losing out on the extra money that could be generated in the above scenario. The sooner the family stops making all of the landlords rich and starts keeping more money in the family, the more wealth there will be to inherit.

Also, before the remodel, be sure to look at ways to build that can lower the electricity costs. There is a chapter in The ABCs of Money, 6th edition, that outlines many ways to save thousands annually with smarter energy choices, and lists the resources where you can learn more. If your mother lives in a sunny state, then it might be time to consider solar power, especially while there is still a 30% tax credit to do so. 
 
The situation could be very different from what I spelled out above, but this example is intended to illustrate what’s possible, especially if there are trustworthy, hardworking family members who are struggling with the high cost of housing (and who isn’t these days). It’s important to keep things equitable for all the family members, and to compensate the person doing the work. That ensures a win for everyone – including your mother.
 
Bottom Line
Many of us buy into the ethos that we must wait until people pass to talk about money. However, that strategy makes others rich at the family’s expense. Wealthy people talk about money all the time, and they have a plan in place with a vision of keeping the wealth and the estate 100 years from now. While the first conversation might be uncomfortable, you’ll find quickly that the lives of everyone in your family can change, and you’ll feel a lot better about your mother being able to enjoy her golden years, when you fix that dilapidated dwelling now.
 
If you’d like to learn more about Real Estate and having a family plan that benefits everyone, be sure to join me on June 14, 2025, for my online Real Estate masterclass. Email [email protected] to learn more and register now. Check out the hours, pricing and testimonials at the flyer.
 

Join us at our online Financial Freedom Retreat June 6-8 2025 where you'll learn how to protect your wealth, save thousands annually in your budget and how to green your money. The following Saturday on June 14, 2025, at our Real Estate Master Class. you'll discover the 10-point checklist for home buyers and sellers, as well as some overlooked areas of opportunity. If you'd like a life-changing adventure of a lifetime, be our guest at a royal manor house in Cornwall, England, March 12-19, 2027. (With just eight rooms available, this exclusive, private, bucket-list adventure sells out a year in advance!) Call 310-430-2397 or email [email protected] to learn more. The 2025 Restormel Retreat was a magical and royal experience. Click to learn more. 

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If you’d like an unbiased 2nd opinion on your current wealth plan, email [email protected] for pricing and information.

Visit NataliePace.com to learn more. Call 310-430-2397 or email [email protected] for pricing, additional information and to register. Early Bird pricing ends May 15, 2025.

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Natalie Pace with her father, Gerald Ray Pace, in 2014.

Natalie Wynne Pace is an Advocate for Sustainability, Financial Literacy & Women's Empowerment. Natalie is the bestselling author of The ABCs of Money (6th edition) and The Power of 8 Billion: It's Up to Us, and is the co-creator of the Earth Gratitude Project. She has been ranked as a No. 1 stock picker, above over 835 A-list pundits, by an independent tracking agency (TipsTraders). Her book The ABCs of Money remained at or near the #1 Investing Basics e-book on Amazon for over 3 years (in its vertical), with over 120,000 downloads and a mean 5-star ranking. The 6th edition of The ABCs of Money and the 2nd edition of Put Your Money Where Your Heart Is (2nd edition) are the most recent releases of these books. Follow her on Instagram. 
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Natalie Pace's easy as a pie chart nest egg strategies earned gains in the last two recessions and have outperformed the bull markets in between. That is why her Investor Educational Retreats, books and private coaching are enthusiastically recommended by Nobel Prize winning economist Gary S. Becker, TD AMERITRADE chairman Joe Moglia, Kay Koplovitz and many Main Street investors who have transformed their lives using her Thrive Budget and investing strategies. Click to view a video testimonial from Nilo Bolden.​​

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Important Disclaimers
Please note: Natalie Pace does not act or operate like a broker. She reports on financial news, and is one of the most trusted sources of financial literacy, education and forensic analysis in the world. Natalie Pace educates and informs individual investors to give investors a competitive edge in their personal decision-making. Any publicly-traded companies, funds or projects mentioned by Natalie Pace are not intended to be buy or sell recommendations.

ALWAYS do your research and consult an experienced, reputable financial professional before buying or selling any security, and consider your long-term goals and strategies. Investors should NOT be all in on any asset class or individual stocks. Your retirement plan should reflect an age-appropriate, diversified wealth plan, which has been designed strategically, with the assistance of financial professionals who are familiar with your goals, risk tolerance, tax needs and more. The "trading" portion of your portfolio should be a very small part of your investment strategy, and the amount of money you invest into individual companies should never be greater than your experience, wisdom, knowledge, patience and diversified strategy.  
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Information has been obtained from sources believed to be reliable. However, NataliePace.com does not warrant its completeness or accuracy. Opinions constitute our judgment as of the date of this publication and are subject to change without notice. This material is not intended as an offer or solicitation for the purchase or sale of any financial instrument.