As a child, there was a female in our family in a prominent position who spread rumors, gossip and lies about other women. In so doing, she was able to sequester our father, and keep him all to herself. As a result, my father had very little contact with his children for decades. A lot of people will say, “There are two sides to every story.“ In that experience, there were indeed two sides to the story. There were the lies, and there was the truth. The gossip, rumors and lies were very loud and ever present. Sometimes they were built upon a small amount of truth, which would be blown completely out of proportion, and into a crisis. Other times, they were completely fabricated. All of the lies added up to an ultimatum. “Do you choose them or me?” Love doesn’t like to enter into the fray and fight like a liar. Even when attacked, love never seeks to harm, not even an attacker. (When the weapons are words, and the person caught in the cross-fire is a loved one, it’s hard to make a case for self-defense.) So, love, and truth, might retreat. However, even on the horizon, or out of view, love is still love and the truth is still the truth. They are quiet, constant fires that refuse to be extinguished. They gather their strength. Their return will not be loud. In a sense, love never left. My wishes and prayers were constant for my father. As I gained understanding about the mental health challenges of the woman who had sequestered him, and the abuse she had suffered in her life, I slowly developed compassion for her. I practiced loving unconditionally, while also protecting myself from attacks. I lived far away, but attempted short visits. At first, it was only a meal every year or so. That led to more contact, but never long, and always with an eye on my back and the exit. In all fairness, I cannot say that I loved the attacker. However, I was able to get to the point where I had compassion toward her. And the lesson that I took away from the experience is that forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. Resentments are a heavy load to carry. As Carrie Fisher was fond of saying, “Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” I also learned that real love is constant and quiet. Fear, jealousy and insecurity are loud. Love would never seek to harm others, or separate a family member from their tribe. When insecurities dominate the channel of one’s emotions, they can create maliciousness. I guess that is why love and all of her close companions (compassion, kindness) require practice. The heart is a muscle. It's pretty easy to feel and taste when I am letting resentment, fear, jealousy, etc. try to steer my emotions. Real love remains constant and awaits the day that you knock on her door. And when you do, you are greeted with an open heart and loving arms. Love is honorable and doesn’t need to bring others down. There is no malicious gossip on the tongue of a truth-telling lover. Even when someone is headed on the wrong path, there is no need for carping. Compassion might be the warmth that guides the lost back home. So my wish for each of us today is that we immerse ourselves in love, and her companions of warmheartedness, kindness and truth. My father now has a good relationship with all of his children. Because love always wins. Happy Valentine’s Day. With love to you, and gratitude for you being in our tribe, Natalie Other Blogs of Interest Is Tesla Worth GM and Ford Combined. Artificial Intelligence is on Fire. Is it Time to Buy S'More? Take the Retirement Challenge. 2020 Investor IQ Test. Answers to the 2020 Investor IQ Test. Win a Seat at a Retreat The Cannabis Capital Crunch and Stock Meltdown. Does Your Commute Pollute More Than Planes? Are Health Care Costs Killing Your Budget? 2020 Crystal Ball. The Benefits of Living Green. 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Russia Dumps Treasuries and Buys Gold OPEC and Russia Cut Oil Production. Important Disclaimers Please note: Natalie Pace does not act or operate like a broker. She reports on financial news, and is one of the most trusted sources of financial literacy, education and forensic analysis in the world. Natalie Pace educates and informs individual investors to give investors a competitive edge in their personal decision-making. Any publicly traded companies or funds mentioned by Natalie Pace are not intended to be buy or sell recommendations. ALWAYS do your research and consult an experienced, reputable financial professional before buying or selling any security, and consider your long-term goals and strategies. Investors should NOT be all in on any asset class or individual stocks. Your retirement plan should reflect a diversified strategy, which has been designed with the assistance of a financial professional who is familiar with your goals, risk tolerance, tax needs and more. The "trading" portion of your portfolio should be a very small part of your investment strategy, and the amount of money you invest into individual companies should never be greater than your experience, wisdom, knowledge and patience. Information has been obtained from sources believed to be reliable however NataliePace.com does not warrant its completeness or accuracy. Opinions constitute our judgment as of the date of this publication and are subject to change without notice. This material is not intended as an offer or solicitation for the purchase or sale of any financial instrument. Securities, financial instruments or strategies mentioned herein may not be suitable for all investors.
J.A. Armour
15/2/2020 07:01:30 am
Happy belated Valentine's Day to you too, Natalie (and Heather)! Nice story. Lucky you: you still have your father! 16/2/2020 05:41:06 am
Thanks J.A. Yes, we are fortunate that my father is still with us and so healthy and happy. He loves boasting that his only pills are vitamins and supplements. Comments are closed.
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AuthorNatalie Pace is the co-creator of the Earth Gratitude Project and the author of The Power of 8 Billion: It's Up to Us, The ABCs of Money, The ABCs of Money for College, The Gratitude Game and Put Your Money Where Your Heart Is. She is a repeat guest & speaker on national news shows and stages. She has been ranked the No. 1 stock picker, above over 830 A-list pundits, by an independent tracking agency, and has been saving homes and nest eggs since 1999. Archives
January 2025
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